Monday 3 October 2011

its been a long time

So I haven't updated my blog for ages!
has a blip, my other half had a  nightmare having assessments here there and everywhere, for benefits, to prove he has an illness, (he has had 2 transplants) then my oven broke, then we went on holiday, but all is back to normal, element is due for oven to be fixed, I've worked extra hours to make up what they are taking off my other half, and also my brother is getting married in Cyprus next august! So its given me the boost I need,so much so I just refused a bag of French fries for an apple, my mum n dad have treated us to a villa with a private pool and flights, and it will be the other halves first time ever abroad! So its exciting.
Also I bought a tefal actifry,as a treat for my birthday! And its fab

Wednesday 7 September 2011

i'm back

well after going off the polan for while and not getting weighed for 4 weeks, i finally got back to it, i had put on half a pound, so i was pleased as the damage could have been so much worse, then i went on monday and had lost 3.5lb, so i was over the moon, if i get 1.5lb this week i get my stone award sticker, which has taken forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but at least it is coming off
it could have so easily been even more on, after a tough few weeks, usually i eat and eat when i am stressed, so i tried by eating diff things than i normally would and it worked.
Life for the past few weeks has been so stressful, my ot has had an illness all his life, and has infact had 2 transplants, his consultant stops him from working due to the osteoperosis in his spine causing him pain, and due to his illness causing so many problems.
so he has been able to claim incapacity benefit for the past 3 years, but in July was sent for an assessment at a vile place, done by a company called Atos, where we sat in a room with a Polish doctor for 30 mins who decided to award him "0" yes zero points!!!! and classed him as a normal person, and stopped his benefits, it was bad enough when they made him stop working, so we went from a fulltime wage for him to £100 a week, but we cut back as you do and coped, now they have stopped his benefit it has been a nightmare to have to appeal etc, we asked for a copy of the medical assessment and some of the things we discussed weren't even on the report?
they had not asked his doctor or consultant for any medical information, they have purely gone on the half an hour in that room, to say i was fuming was an understatement, especially when we have since found out that alcoholics and drug users get given the points they need automatically, how is that fair? that to me is self inflicted, no one made them be addicts, however my ot was born with his illness, and has put up with it for life, it makes him depressed, he would love to be normal, and has never ever known what it is like to feel healthy, and never will, it makes my blood boil that we have had to go through this process of appealing for the last few weeks, and the stress it has caused has been awful at times, and when i look at it, and how much it has stressed me, and i am the normal "not ill" one, if there are people out there without support how on earth would they cope?? its a joke, and i feel like this country is becoming a joke, but not alot i can do about it, but when i sat munching on a bag of crisps, i thought to myself, this country has harmed us enough, i need to shift this weight for me, for a better life, and there is only me that can do it,and so i will!!!

Sunday 17 July 2011

sunday, weigh in tomorrow

tomorrow is weigh in, after my hols and a week off it may be a little gain
but i have done a big shop, prepared lots, and am about to go to bed, with my books and watch the apprentice and remember why i am doing this,i got a bit fed up, with my doc telling me it would be slow weight loss, due to meds etc, but i have to get that out of my head, MY weight loss doesn't affect anyone else, it only affects ME so as long as it is coming off then it shouldn't matter
i could have not joined sw at all, i would have just kept on eating myself into an early grave, so when i look at it that way then thats good
Also my friend rang me, she has hit target, took 23 months in total, but she was going to have a gastric by pass, and had started the process to have one, she had seen her mum have one, who was 52, but her mum got complications and sadly passed away, and begged my friend not to have the op, and it scared her, so she tried sw, just short of 2 years later she has done it, after many diets nothing helped, her doc even told her it would be slow (like me) but she stuck with it and it worked.
Her mum had tried so many diets but never slimming world and my friend wishes she had, as things may be so different, but now i need to catch my friend up and get back to basics!!!!

Tuesday 12 July 2011

eating junk

eating junk on my hols have made me feel sluggish and yak, i cannot wait to have this week as a good week and get feeling better!
i have written this so i can read it back and remember, so next time i will eat more superfree on my hols!!!

Back from my holidays!!! RARING TO GO

Well i am back from my holidays, and thankfully the scales are saying i stayed the same!
so even though i had fish and chips, cream teas,cakes, and pasties i managed to stay the same, so i am made up.

But i am so on the ball now, done my shopping and preparing and in for a good week, ready for my next weigh in on monday! 


my weigh loss was going really really slow before my hols, and i want it to be alot quicker, so i am going to try and eat alot more superfree, and be more active,EVERY single day, i know my doc said i will be lucky at 1/2 to 1 lb a week, however on my last hol i lost 5lb, due to the walking i did every single day, and i know when i am at work i cannot do that kind of walking all day, but i am going to try and do more as and when i can


had a fab day today, had yoghurt and fruit for breakfast, salad and bay roasted pots for lunch


i am due on holiday 9 weeks on saturday, and i want to be at LEAST a stone lighter, which to some people isn't alot in 9 weeks, but when medical issues make it slow then its what i am hoping for


so watch this space!

Thursday 30 June 2011

oh the challenge, before i forget

oh before i forget, me and a slimming pal on facebook were saying how fab it would be to get slimmer of the month, his group have a shield/trophey that they win if they get slimmer of the month, our consultant gets our slimmer of the month a bouquet of flowers, we were saying how good it must feel to get that, so me and Adam are going for it, and aim to get ourselves a slimmer of the month award, this isn't a competition against eachother, its encouraging eachother to get it, whether its the same month or a diff month, we would both love that achievement, so will be spurring eachother on!

friday, HOLIDAY TIME!!!!

Well today is holiday day, off for 10 days in Cornwall with the doggos to the beach and lots of walks, i LOVE my holidays, and can't wait to go next year and look a lot slimmer!!!!
However i will be enjoying this year loads too, got my shorts packed
On my last holiday i lost 5lb!!! EVEN THOUGH I HAD A TREAT EVERY DAY which you can do on slimming world, its fab!!!!
so i will do the same again, make good choices, take my hi-fi bars and a food diary, thats what helped, every morning i still had my yoghurt and fruit and a hi fi bar, then i would either have a treat for lunch, or a treat for tea, (either fish and chips, cream teas, pasties) the walking helped 100% and i only wish i could walk every day all day when i am home, would make the world of difference.
So i may well not update for the week i am away, as i am not taking my laptop, just my trusty camera for lots of holiday snaps!!!!!
see you all soon, have a good week x x x

Wednesday 29 June 2011

wednesday 29th June , going to have a green day!

Well this morning I woke up and fancied a change, granted I'd been up through the night being sick, and had such a bad tummy because of these awful bites on my legs!!!
So today I maybe haven't eaten as I should because of that, for my breakfast I had a banana, for break 2x snack a jacks (4syns), for lunch I had cold rice, and baby new pots cry roasted, mixed with 1tbls chilli sauce (1syn), afternoon bread some French fries (4 syns) choc mousse, 1syn, 2 x satsuma, for tea we had a bag of chips from chippy between us! I had mushy peas over mine, however I did think about my b choices, had 2 w bread and a hi fi , I also snacked on a punnet of strawberries.

Tuesday 28 June 2011

Tuesday 28th june

Hello Tuesday, today has been a great day slimming wise, for my breakfast I had a fat free activia snack pot, they are so much nicer than mullers, why haven't I discovered them before!!!! I had a banana, and 2 satsumas.
For lunch I had rice chicken,peppers,onion followed by a punnet of cherries.
For my breaks I had an apple, 2 snack a jacks (4syns) bag of velvet crunch (4syns)
For my tea I had salad, new potatoes and bacon, followed by a 2 syn gingerbread, and portion of 1 syn mousse and an apple and a satsuma, for my hex a had grated cheese over my potatoes at tea, and hexb hi fi bar on way to work

This week is always a tough one, the month end at work is a nightmare, loads of pressure for targets,then my system crashed!!! So got to finish 2 hours early!!
Tonight me and a lad called Adam on my slimming profile on Facebook have set eachother a challenge to get slimmer of the MONTH!! Tough challenge, but a good challenge so  watch this space!!!

Monday 27 June 2011

monday,start of a new week and weigh in!!

Well tonight was weigh in, I knew I was going to gain, and I am made up that it was only 1.5,it could have been 4-5 if it wasn't for getting back on plan last week, so all on all today has been a good day, a bloody hot day, I was roasting in work, did a 10-6 shift, got a long 3 days now tue,wed,thur 10-8!! And late thur night we travel down to Cornwall, ready for 10 days without work, and I can't wait!!!!

Sunday 26 June 2011

saturday and sunday! weekends are the hardest parts

well the weekends (for me) are the worst parts, i do fab all week, and the scales say so, but then by monday night its not as good as in the week! 
grrrrrrrrrrr
that really does my head in, i KNOW when i go on monday i will have had a gain, with not going for 2 weeks, it has been a demon in disguise, it is so true when they say missing group is bad for weight loss, it really is, without group i always seem to cheat! not loads, just a little, but all them "little" cheats add up, so i am expecting a 3-4lb gain this week, but i am back on it 100%, and i am not giving up
I was nearly only going to be able to go every other week, due to work commitments,but i didn't want that, and luckily i now don't have to, so i am over the moon with that this week.
I currently do fixed shifts at work 10-6 every day (suppose to be), but i am swapping to alternate weeks of 10-6, 12-8, i can get so much more done in a morning, plus i always doing scatty shifts here and there, as if i need to do anything in the week i end up owing hours, as everything that needs doing is usually in work hours,so even though my doc thought the routine of 10-6 would be best, then i don't think it is, not anymore, the only thing that was holding me back was the group on mondays,luckily a bloke at work needs evey tuesday night off, so i will do 12-8 every tuesday, he will do 12-8 every monday, so it all works out better, so i'm a happy bunny

I sat with my slimming world books last night, sometimes its good to go back to basics, and i kind of feel like after 2 weeks off its like starting allover again, which i suppose is a good thing, its going so slow and i know my doctor said that due to medical reasons it will be,but u know the last 2 weeks i haven't been 100% and if i am going to lose this awful weight i need to be more than 100%, as the journey i know will take longer than other peoples, but hey my journey is my own, for my own reasons, no one elses, and i think that until you want to do it for yourself then you won't do it at all! 
And i do want this, more than anything, i feel like a thinner person stuck inside this horrible vile body that makes me depressed, and now i am learning to not feed that depression with food, but instead with a walk with the dogs, or a long hot soak in the bath, a fitness dvd, or some of my crafts, anything to keep me out of the cupboards!!!!

yesterday i was at work from 10-4, it was ok, took my food with me, i always do to work, then that helps loads, if i haven't got it i can't eat it, where as at weekends everything is here in the house to have, not particularly bad stuff, just stuff i can over syn on, like having 2 bags of velvet crunch instead of 1!!!! etc etc 

anyway today is a gorgeous sunny day, so its a day of gardening,not nice pretty gardening, but tough gravel moving/drive making gardening!!!! but all body magic!!



Friday 24 June 2011

FRIDAY! OH HOW I LOVE YOU!!!!

Well today i started off really really tired! other half has had a bad week of sleep, so was up and down all night, then i woke up at 3am with our 2 dogs on the bed!!!!!
So after all the broken sleep i was knackered this morning.
Got to work at 9.30, had a portion of sw mousse (i had run out of yogs) with a banana and a satsuma
my first break at 11.45 i had a bag of quavers and a satsuma and a hifi bar, for lunch i had a chicken breast, with salad, well i say salad, i only like lettuce onion and peppers
i was so hungry today i has a bag of walkers baked at 4.15 break, and my other hi fi, finished work at 6pm, nipped to homebase for gardening stuff (day in the garden on sunday should do some good) then we popped to morrisons
Got home and wanted quick stuff for tea, so i had mr mash, with spring onions and peppers mixed in it, with 4 syn free pork sausage, and an apple for afters, and had 2 babybel chopped up into the mash.
Night time is when i get the munchies, so need to find ideas for snacky things in the evenings.


Today i haven't had any temptations to be naughty naughty, somedays i do, i have weighed myself and due to not going to weigh in for the last 2 weeks, i know i have put on at least 3lb, so i am gutted with myself for that, but i only have myself to blame, but i haven't been overly naughty at any point, so sometimes i wonder why the weight won't come off, i just have to think about what my doc said, that a pound a week is what it will be, and i need to not compare my losses to other peoples, my loss is my loss, and thats that.
Tomorrow i am at work, booooo! 10 am-2pm, and my boss is going to get everyone greasy take out breakfasts, so i have cooked extra syn free sausage, and will be taking them on wholemeal bread for my brekkie! and some fruit, so my plan is to be good, good, good 

Thursday 23 June 2011

thursday nearly done and dusted(been really hungry today)

well today was a very long day in work, well seemed it, no actually it was!!!!
get to work  at 9.45, running late, i don't start until 10, but usually there for 9.30, so i can have breakfast, so rushed my brekkie, a muller light with a banana and apple, for my 11.45 break i had a bag of space raiders (3 syns)
For my lunch i had some beef and salad, with chopped strawberries for afterwards and a banana, and butterscotch hi fi bar
for my 4pm break i had grapes, cherries and my other hi fi, but i have felt hungry all day!
so for tea we are having Maggie so juicy, with roasted veg and new pots, 
i also just made some choc mousse, so had a portion of that whilst i wait, as i am so hungry!!!!!!
the salad didnt fill me up at work, it was only a little one, need to take rice tomorrow so i am not hungry and thinking all afternoon that i want to eat!!!!!!

thursday the 23rd June plan to change forever

Hello Thursday, well because the last 2 weeks i have skipped weigh in for diff reasons (genuine ones) i did go off plan, and being back on it this week 100% i am gutted that i did go off plan, but nevermind,no point in regretting it
Been back on plan 100% this week, and feel so much better, eating healthy really does affect how you feel.
last week i felt sluggish and miserable, and deep down i knew why, so hopefully on wi on monday it won't be a massive load of damage, the week after i am on hols,which is never a problem if i do it right, with it being a hol with the dogs we walk all day everyday, so usually have a good loss, 5lb off after the last hol, so that will be the boost i need, then be back on it for Christmas, so i can feel happy on xmas day, and wear a nice dress, hopefully, (i don't do dresses, not because i don't want to, but because i look awful in them)


I know my weight loss is going to be a slow one, my own doc told mr that due to being a diabetic with a thyroid problem then i will be lucky to loose between half a pound and a pound a week, so thats my aim, of course i want more, who wouldn't, and i have proved that on the weeks when i am not at work and can be more active i can lose more, but when i'm at work full time sat behind a desk its hard!!!!!


but i will keep doing the fitness dvd and cross trainer at home, this is a journey i am not giving up on, its a life changing plan, and i aim to stick with it 
must dash now, time to get my food ready for the day at work, lets see what i end up with 

Wednesday 22 June 2011

Another reason

Another big reason fir doing this is clothes!!!! I love clothes, and for the last 10 years I haven't been able to wear the clothes I want, instead its off to the fat shop, where I am picking because it fits not because I like it, I walk through some of the lovely funky clothes in new look to get to the fat section at the back, I want to go in a shop and pick what I like because I like it, not just because it fits!!!! And I have loads of clothes at home I want to get into, and I will!!!!

wednesday, so far so good

Today I am in work from 10am - 8pm, so a very long day!!!
Most of my meals will be in work today, so for breakfast I had a banana and a satsuma,that was around 9.30 when I got to work, my first break was 11.45, I had a satsuma, hi fi bar, mullerlight.
For lunch at 2.15 I have a ham salad, with handful of new potatoes,portion of lime mousse, which is so scrummy.
My break at 4pm I will have an apple and 2 snack a jacks (4 syns)
Last break at 6 pm I have a punnet of strawberries,and my other hi fi bar.
When I get home I am having an omlette with beans and salad,and an apple, then take the dogs a walk for 30 mins, and do 30 mins on the cross trainer whilst watching the soaps I've recorded!!!
I feel good today, having a good day at work, busy, which ultimately helps, next Thursday night/fri am we go to Cornwall and I can't wait

Tuesday 21 June 2011

Tuesday 21st June

Hello Tuesday
The start of a new week as weigh in (wi) as it will be known to all us slimmers, is usually a Monday night
I use to have a treat on a monday night, fish and chips on the way home, i don't anymore, i'd rather do it properly and have a treat at the weekends.
So today for breakfast i had a banana,and a muller light yoghurt
for lunch i had some potatoe wedges (left over from last night), with ham, and salad
For my tea i am having 2 syn free burgers,1 wholemeal bap, roasted onions, peppers and salad, with wedges, and some grated cheese on the bap
followed by strawberries and an apple, for my syns today i have had a bag of velvet crunch, a portion of lime mousse, and tomatoe ketchup
yum yum yum

so less about WHY and more about the actual journey

well today is the start of a new week!
I had a massive hypo this morning, my other half came to the rescue, dribbled some full sugar cola in my mouth to bring me round!!!!
So i went to work and was sent home, as i looked awful, i felt it too, at least if i go to work they can see that i was not just using my diabetes as an excuse, its been a long time since it made me ill, but i know its because i have done too much recently, i usually work mon-fri, but the last 3 weekends i have worked sat and sunday! 
so not had a day off in what seems like forever,but at least today i have been able to catch up with myself, ready for 2 long shifts 10am-8pm tomorrow and thursday !!!
So i have planned my food well, if i take my food with me,and take no money then i can only eat what i take!!! no popping to the canteen for junk i don't need 



so a bit about me

so here is a bit about me,
so that maybe people can understand me better? or maybe not!!! hahaha
 I am 32, will be 33 in october, have been with my other half for 8 years, we have had many ups and downs, not in our relationship as 2 people, but in other ways, my other half was born with a kidney problem, and when he was 17 had his first kidney transplant,when we got together i found out about it pretty quickly, and i didn't bother me, if i am honest i didnt know much about transplants, so i didnt let it worry me, 12 months after we got together we bought a house together,and then his illness started again, his transplanted kidney started to fail, his consultant signed him off work for good, and eventually he went onto dialysis and the transplant list, it was a very very scary time, for many reasons, one reason was that we had just bought a house and now we were having to cope on one wage, and its been hard, very hard, there is loads we want to do tot he house, but we are getting there slowly, there is always something else to spend the money on, i would love a nicer bigger house, but our life will be in our own 3 bed terraced house, its in a nice area, no one over looking except the sheep in the fields!!!! hahaha
but its ours, and by staying here we don't have to rely on anyone, as we can pay our bills and have some treats and be happy
 when i remember the times death has stared us in the face then i am grateful my other half is alive, otherwise who knows where i would be.
so whilst friends may be upgrading to semi detatched houses, and bragging about fancy holidays we are just happy being us, and i will be EVEN happier when there is less of me!!!! 





my slimming world journey

Well this is a blog of my slimming world journey,i have decided to write it all down, day by day, so that when i have bad days i can look back and read and remember about my good days, as this journey will be long


I am not just on a quick fix diet to lose a stone or too, i need to lose arounD 7.5 stone now to be in "normal" range, and i know it will take along long time to get there.


I have lots of help and support, so where do i start, well if i am honest it started between xmas and new year just gone (2010) i was off work with depression, and in a really down frame of mind, i had fallen out with my mum and dad, we didnt speak to eachother even at xmas, i was really sad about that, and on new years eve for a mad 60 seconds i felt like i never had before, i took a knife and said to my other half that i felt like i wanted to kill myself, i have NEVER ever felt so low ever before,it lasted all of 60 seconds, i had some wild thing going on in my head that if i did do something like that i could be with my Grandma,the woman i had lost a few years ago, be with my best friend who died when we were 21, as i dropped the knife i cried and cried and cried, i came to a point where i knew i was so unhappy with myself that only i could change it, so on new years eve i rang my Dad and made friends with my Mum and Dad,even invited them down on new years day for tea!!!! after they had gone i felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders, i felt so much happier.


NOW I KNEW I HAD TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY!


There was still a long way to go, and i knew i was totally unhappy with my weight, and that was a big part of the depression,so i joined slimming world, took the bull by the horns and went, the class i went to was ok, i lost 8 lb, but then stopped going, as i didnt feel i had the support people talked about from slimming world classes, until i hadn't been for 4 weeks, then the consultant rang me to ask how i was, it was too late at that point, i had made the decision to go elsewhere, still with slimming world, as i loved the diet!


So anyway, my sister in law had opened a new group, and she had opened it in the Jan when i joined sw, but i was too embarrassed to go, i didnt want family or friends knowing how much i weighed, but then i realised that it was the best thing to do to keep me on track! 
so off i went and joined, bought a 12 week countdown!!!! 
there was no going back


I have really enjoyed the journey so far, the weight loss has been slow, but i am enjoying it, and could eat how i do now forever, so if it means slow then it stays off then i am happy with that (even if sometimes i say i am not)


i am half a pound off my 1 stone award, i haven't been for the last 2 weeks, as i have been ill and one week my other half had the car,and this week i was at work! 
so when i go back on monday i AM expecting a gain, but i know why, it has been my other halves birthday, we had 3 meals out (with friends at diff times) a takeaway on his bday, and with being ill (had an ear infection, on antibiotics) so i didnt eat to plan! i am gutted with myself, but i am 100% back on plan now


So i have decided to write all about it each day (if i cannot update everyday then i will do as often as i can)


well today is the first day of a new week, and it has been good, i have the day off work, as i had a hypo this morning (i am a diabetic) and it has worn me out, but i am ok, and ready to grab the bull by the horns and fire up this journey again!